I think that punk rock (and music as whole) is a very important element in society. And I think that it's fun, and real, and youthful and energetic: not something to be ignored. I've lived on the east coast for almost 2 years now, which really scares me. I've been away from Arizona for a long time! The scenes on opposite sides of our country are VERY different. Though, there are TONS of bands out here.. people tend to squabble lots, fight for attention, fight for a place in the "scene" just because so many people now share the same love, they think that's bad because they're the kind of people who are used to being different.. So everyone tries to make their band better or different. Awww.. jeez. It's silly. I must admit I really don't feel the same AT ALL about punk as I used to. Sometimes I find myself NOT listening to exclusively punk, and feeling guilty. It's so strange.

I'd really like to do something for this weird thing called punk rock, because it kind of reminds me of home, being really young and adventurous, being free, and dancing for no reason at all. I miss that and I wish I could bring that back. Maybe I can't do anything. Maybe the feeling has left ME, and not the world. My dream used to be to play the guitar really well, sing really loud, travel around the world in a dirty van, publish my own writing.. create this new vision of the world: a sort of beautiful imperfection. Now I talk to all these girls who sound just like me a few years ago, the same worn out dreams, the same ripped up clothes.. wallowing in their adversity. Somehow, that seems like such artifice. Where did the happiness go? Yeah, it's about anger, it's about speaking your mind.. but it was about happiness too. Atleast I think it was.

I just recently returned from Arizona. They don't really have punk show in my town anymore. The stage in City Park is bare, or peopled by country western barbeque extravaganzas. There's one band in town, a kind of hardcore, communist band of alchoholic drop out kids. The scene leader went to L.A. got bitter, says that, "You shouldn't be attached to your songs." And that "Talent discrimates against those who have no talent," and "I don't believe in melody." But I really loved all my songs, I was happy when I could give any little bit of talent that I could muster to others: just hoping that they would be tolerent and supportive of my attempts. I found the soul hollowed out of the songs, and everybody on some kind of drug. Yeah. It should be about happiness.

Thanks for reading all this! The point is: if you've written me before and I haven't been responding it's because I've been ignoring this for a long time. Write me, if you're a band or a zine, or just a person. If there's anything I can do for you just let me know. I live in Newark, DE, about 30 min. from Philly. My number is 1-302-837-2339. But just don't stalk me, ok? Give me your feedback! - Laura Landon (February 1999)